1. |
Eva
04:29
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eva you smell like a river and i must knit your holes with thimbles
or else you can suck the blood from my thumbs
you taste of cherries in a neon field of longing
just like a city girl at the cinema
all wild and blue
and if this liquor can assuage the aches of the day
i will be soft enough not to turn you away
and all these feelings are too messy to believe
i need someone pure to make them clean
and i will be a monk to the cause
i'll count my breaths and find the good in everyone
or i will despair and withdraw and build a life of infrequent pleasures
in the heartbreak brick of a tenement, you crawled out of your body and into my arms
i saw the angels on the fire escape with their sewer lid hearts
shooting up with the months we shared before we were ever apart
and the pain made you hate me because i couldn't save you and we slept alone in the dark
you made me some cds to remind me how different things can be
you said the nature of a sunset is the beauty in ending
would you still love me if we lived in the country, if every whim was not satisfied
where you reap what you sow and only the wolves know why you cry
because out here there's nothing to do but stare and there's a chance that we'll grow old tonight
there are roaches in the shower next to the dish-filled sink
and your brother's in the next room, i know he's listening
because these ghosts of new york are sleeping between my sheets
they keep me awake and they don't leave room for any other dreams
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2. |
Lou Reed
05:00
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whatever it is that's suffocating you, this is a letter from someone who survived
i need abuse to soften me up, to flail against someone, to be punished
because i don't deserve this, i don't deserve this, i don't deserve your heart
this anxiety is chasing the meaning out of everything
and it's exhausting
and if i don't believe, well, then everyone turns on me and i'm all alone
and it's exhausting
i'm always suspecting, never feeling the love that's around me
so i will fuck it up because the right way is never enough
and i won't forgive myself so i will always hurt the ones i love
this anxiety is chasing the meaning out of everything
and it's exhausting
and if i don't believe, well, then everyone turns on me and i'm all alone
and it's exhausting
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3. |
Whiskey of Williamsburg
04:21
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let's find out how many words are in this bottle and if we'll still be friends at the end
and if not we're better off
because whiskey will make good friends closer and bad friends over
invite me up, invite me up, invite me
and please just always think of me and let me know that you are
i know how to get that thing that everyone wants if you can stand me long enough
so just hold me, please just kiss me sweetly
i should not have to tell you these things
i asked a wise man the way out of this hell
he said find some clothes that fit you well
and believe that you know what you need
be not the sword and not the gun but always take action
live on the wave that you make, don't sleep in the backseat, sit up straight and awake
and if you love you then you must be willing to hurt her
because she doesn't know better and she thinks you will desert her
she needs to learn it's up to her
you're the sun in my brooklyn, lighting me up and changing the season
you're the sun in my brooklyn, lighting me up and changing the season
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4. |
X
05:49
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i need a bible so i can start crusading
that's how anything gets done
they've built an empire out of not being impressed
trace it back to the money and the girl
when your parents were asleep you sat alone on the couch in the dark
and they came in through the glass and hovered like they were underwater
they said your beliefs will make lies true
and the sad scenes of nonsense will be the myths that were passed down to you
my story is written backwards and you are a mirror
when you're gone i'm as lost as ever
i can't see where i'm aiming, but i can feel it and i know
you're a straight shot
i've woken up enough to find you
but when i close my eyes the lovers leave
and the sleep seeps in from the corners
i don't care what you use
just keep it away and i will show you
the maps i brought back from the dreams
if it cried out for too long i would not believe it
you throw it around like radio
as i watch the petals fall into my coffee
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5. |
Already Dead
05:41
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portland is soaked in gold, i'm seeing highlights of pink and purble
we cut small swatches of lawn from a grid we weave with our motors on
before we talked my nerves were made of tin
my words caught a ride on your tear skipped a beat at your lips and poised at your chin
i'm always scared of endings, i almost met mine now they're all i believe
when you're afraid to start all you see is the parts and there's no love story
i came here to find you without a place to stay
your necklace is in san francisco and your head can't explain
if we look up now we'll find things to doubt
beauty was our favorite place to stay before we all got kicked out
i keep a memory of you in a red velvet room
a drink on the table and the moon in the window
the birds of may are pounding in my head
my ghost is tamed but i'm already dead
i lost it in the car that day and i'm never quite the same
put your scars on paper so your body doesn't carry the weight
i drank from your lopsided mug, still feeling your hug while the bugs buzzed on the screen
i forgot you were out there now it's the chase, not the catch, that's release
i felt quiet and i didn't know you weren't coming back
so i climbed into bed alone and left your presence unwrapped
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6. |
Sour Flower
05:27
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every night you don't come home is a sign that i should be alone
candied soap and a velvet rope
a heart-shaped locket full of coke
i don't know what to do but clara, the magic is within you
in the middle of the night the tile's like ice and the dark shines like a knife
we can grab the keys while everyone's asleep
if not now, we'll never leave
during the week we're safe but the spectacle is digging our graves
nights spent alone in the nowhere ocean
shivering in the bathtub
i don't know what you're running from so i can't offer you protection
show me a way out and i'll take
it's the same thing every time
i can't control my own thoughts anymore
and i can't tell what's wrong or right
a tree lined street, smokey and bracing
this is where we met
iron fences to the fences to the knees with bricks humbly holding the stories
still glowing from inside
i know you're not good for me, that i would make a thousand girls lucky
but i am what you need, so please keep me softly
a love will find us alone or together that is an answer no matter the question
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7. |
Caroline
04:41
|
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your covers only make me wonder about your other lovers
you're bored by my small-town confessions
but in my chest beats a bravery that you shielded from me
and with her it's easy to look in the mirror
as apples fall from the tremor tree to kiss our starless sheets
i can't wait forever for this
caroline, i stole you from a better singer
because when the music ends, we're all just a mess
and i don't pretend
feeling between your shoulder blades, i knew you were not awake and i prayed
for our clothes to return
because it makes me shake to think that the lines of your shape might point away from me
in germany, we could be friends, and i would pace and drink
jumping down stairs while the mortars fall silent in the street
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8. |
Atoms
02:47
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9. |
Manhattan
05:42
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i flew east in accelerating daylight on a bouncing plane ride
throwing myself against the atoms of manhattan
just to see what happens
and i don't know if there are any unselfish love songs but i'll write you one to have
when i'm gone
and in the slow pan of the escalator and the sharp metal of barriers
i'm worried this is really happening
i'm putting your movements to music
walking in the underground, carrying your bags downtown
i prefer that you not wear that makeup just to cuddle up
because when that doubt sets in i just need to see that you believe
come on baby, be strong for me
san francisco is never this seedy
browse the bottles beneath the bar lights like jewelry
because this is the source that heals and forgives and too much turns too toxic to taste
and if this is a mistake then it's one i have to make
surrender to the unknowable and send me kisses through venus this summer
while you're on a mediterranean beach and i'm in new york city with rain in the waiting
if the west coast is a dream then these are the dreamers
but i'd rather be awake in someone else's dream than asleep on the cold concrete
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